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Holy Seal

the holy seal

The Church of the SubGenius is a dangerous UFO mind control suicide cult. Its followers are called "SubGenii" because they are stupid and follow idiotic slogans, and give up their hard-earned cash in exchange for meaningless titles. For proof that it is an evil cult visit this website, which was set up as a support group for former SubGenii. It has had several notable schisms already.

SubGenii pray to a cartoon character named "Bob" hoping for something called X-Day, in which Earth gets destroyed by aliens in flying saucers.

Some people think it's a joke but they don't know the truth. There is more about this cult on Wikipedia. New cultists have to actually PAY for ordainment as SubGenius ministers at this website using a credit card, or by buying it through the mail through check or money order, or over the telephone using a credit card. It's all about the MONEY with the Church of the SubGenius!

Members of this cult coordinate their nefarious activities through the Taphouse Cabal IRC network and the Scrubgenius Google Group, along with using other forms of communication such as carrier pigeons and Morse code. They also broadcast their cult propaganda via slackradio.org featuring prominent SubGenius-centric shows like The Hour of Slack, Puzzling Evidence, "Bob's" Slacktime Funhouse, and The Ministry of Slack.

  • History

PreChurch (Church of the SubGenus)[]

A series of people known as the PreChurch Propets of "Bob" (originally Prophetas Roberti) warned of the coming of the church is various prophecies starting as early as the 12th century BCE. Warnings also appear in the biblical book of Revelation. In references to "The Whore of Babylon," "whore" refers to either SubGenius co-founder Connie Dobbs or to the Discordian goddess Discordia, and "Babylon" to Dobbstown, Malaysia, the unholy "holy land" of the SubGenius.

Early Church (Early Church of the SubGenius)[]

Before the underground cult became known to the public, the Church had existed for years behind the scenes. The first meeting was an "Opportunity Meeting" led by J. R. "Bob" Dobbs in Glen Roseola, Texas, on Thursday evening, May 7, 1953. This was for the proposed "SubGenus Society," based on the concept that the attendees might belong to a subgenus of Homo, or Homo subgenus (note this was not "subgenius."). There may have been a second opportunity meeting in June, possibly on the 3rd. Then a third was held on Sunday morning, July 5, 1953. But the original church was actually formed during a full moon lunar eclipse on Sunday, July 26, 1953, with 23 charter members. By then, it was called "SubGenius."

However, the Church did not become "official" until 1955. (Some claim the date was 5/5/55. Or 5/7/55. Or 7/5/55).

The early Church used a so-called holy book, The Holy Boble. This was criticized as "little more than a pornographic picture book," something like the depraved Tijuana "Bibles" only much, much longer. Copies of it were rightly burned as blasphemist on many occasions. The group also sang from The SubGenius Hymnal which consisted largely of corruptions of Christian hymns and American patriotic songs.

While the original charter was lost, according to a damaged 1957 copy kept by the so-called Prophet of "Bob" JoX the Bobtist, a report by Dr. Philo Drummond and an interview with Connie Dobbs, there are 23 charter members. In addition to "Bob" himself, these include

  • "Kitten" Anderson, a fellow salesman's preteen tomboy daughter who washed "Bob"'s car
  • JoX the Bobtist, the 10th and final PreChurch Prophet of "Bob"
  • Susie Bung, a human/mermaid/medusa
  • J. D. "Jed" Clampett, "Bob"'s Slackful hunting buddy
  • E.W.C. Haskell Jr., a budding preteen conman known for his slackfulness and saccharin tongue
  • "Juicy" Johnson, later known as "Juicy" Retardo
  • Connie Marsh, founding Church secretary and the then future first wife of "Bob"
  • C. M. Manson, future commune leader
  • Toyalla, a Homo floresiensis woman with powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal men
  • Several prominent politicians and tycoons

According to Dr. Philo Drummond, the latter included "Howard Hughes, Aristotle Onassis, Bruce Roberts (author of The Gemstone Files), and the young Henry Kissinger." Other sources say members included the tycoons' then wives such as Hughes' wife actress Terry Moore, and also Playboy magazine founder Hugh Hefner and his wife Mildred Williams (Playboy magazine, like the church, began in 1953). If true, they were all deceived into joining a false money-grubbing cult, just like T*m Cruise.

The price of charter membership and so-called "eternal salvation" was determined largely by the person's wealth. According to Connie, "Bob" said "Make them pay as much as they think they can afford." JoX the Bobtist reported paid 5,370 quatloos (in 2024 money, this would be 63,298.98 quatloos), and Kitten paid by giving "Bob" a car wash and a quarter.

New Church (Reformed Church of the SubGenius)[]

The Church was publicly exposed in 1979 when Rev. Ivan Stang and Dr. Philo Drummond, possibly with Dr. X, began distributing Pamphlet #1 of the Church of the SubGenius. In 1980, Stang and Drummond, possibly with Dr. X, formed the non-profit SubGenius Foundation in Dallas, Texas. It was quickly investigated by federal authorities, and lost its tax-exempt status in its first year.

The cult leader is a paranoid schizophrenic serial killer from Texas named Rev. Ivan Stang, who is on the run from the FBI, hiding out with his double cousin, deviant artist Dr. Philo Drummond, in the secret cult compound of Dobbstown, Malaysia. From there he runs the official website for the Church of the SubGenius as well as The SubGenius Foundation, Inc., which is at subgenius.com. Their occult symbols, based on the Illuminati's New World Order conspiracy, include the Dobbshead and Dobbs Ikon, among many others. They believe in a bunch of pseudo-scientific nonsense they call "Forbidden Science".

Wikipedia and videos[]

Do not believe the lies on Wikipedia about it being a parody religion! It is for real and is VERY serious. In fact, it is the official state religion of North Korea and Fairyland. The world ends tomorrow and you may die! Watch this TV commercial MTV made for the Church of the SubGenius to find out more:

 	SubGenius_Commercial 	 			  


In this video, Rev. Matthew Williams actually explains the Church of the SubGenius FACTUALLY (a rare feat), and then performs a séance on a dead UFOlogist to find out the TRUTH about crop circles:

 	Matt_Channels_Sir_George_King 	 			  


This Xtranormal video explains many of the basics of the Church of the SubGenius and is also entirely factual (unlike this article you are reading here on the wiki, which is complete and utter bulldada, in case you hadn't noticed yet):
Church_of_the_SubGenius

External links[]

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