Forbidden Science

Forbidden Science includes the study of many things, including Sexhurt

Forbidden Science is one of the many things The Church of the SubGenius has taken great interest in, and the reason one of the most common titles that SubGenii have is "Doktor", as they are all Doktors of Forbidden Science. Forbidden Science is NOT the bullshit pseudoscience of conspiracy theorists, cranks, and kooks, who are all misled Pink Conspiracy Dupes. Nor is it the "mainstream science" of the Conspiracy, or the fake science (and real cult) of Scientology. Forbidden Science is something altogether different from all of these failed, unscientific endeavors: IT IS THE ONE TRUE SCIENCE!!! And only ordained SubGenius ministers, the Yeti, the X-ists, the Alien Sex Goddesses, Jehovah 1, Eris Discordia, NHGH, and the common prairie squid are capable of understanding Forbidden Science. Not even the Discordians are capable of understanding it with their discordant minds, unless they pay unto "Bob" the sacred membership dues.

There are many well-known types of Forbidden Science, such as the pursuit of Slack, Time Control, Sales Magic, surfing the Luck Plane, Excremeditation research, Xtranormal videos, the study of rival cults, kooks, and conspiracy theories, Future studies, Normal studies, and research into the Elder Gods, the Yeti, and the prairie squid. This very wiki, the SubGenius Wikia Clench, is a hotbed of Forbidden Science research. But Forbidden Science has many MORE branches to it; in fact, an infinite number of branches. These include Mockery Science, Sadofuturistics, Megaphysics, Scatalography, Schizophreniatrics, Morealism, Sarcastrophy, Cynisacreligion, Apocolyptionomy, ESPectorationalism, Hypno-Pediatrics, Subliminalism, Satyriology, Disto-Utopianity, Sardonicology, Facetiouism, Ridiculophagy, Miscellaneous Theology, Insect Pornography, Sexhurt, and PatrioPsychotic AnarchoMaterialism, among MANY others.

When compared with the failed "hard" sciences of The Conspiracy, such as Physics, Chemistry, Biology, Astronomy, Cosmology, Computer Science, Mathematics, and Technology, as well as the failed "social" sciences, such as Political Science, Sociology, Economics, Philosophy, Anthropology, Theology, and Archaeology, clearly Forbidden Science is the only area of science making any significant amount of scientific progress. Non-mainstream pseudoscience such as UFOlogy, Paranormal Research, Astrology, Theosophy, Phrenology, and Alchemy is likewise nothing but scientific dead ends. Forbidden Science is the ONE TRUE SCIENCE!

The first major researcher and pioneer in most fields of Forbidden Science was of course J. R. "Bob" Dobbs, but many others continue this noble pursuit. For instance, Rev. Ivan Stang researches animalcules in his Petri Dish of Horror and ScumQuarium in order to produce Bug Porn, in the rapidly growing Forbidden Science field of Insect and Microbial Pornography. And the book High Weirdness by Mail is the basis for the Forbidden Science of the study of rival cults, kooks, and conspiracy theories. General Public, founder of this wiki, has personally studied Excremeditation for many years and become the leading expert in that field, becoming a self-help guru for millions of people looking for a better way of life through more advanced meditation and gut blowout techniques, and his self-help books and seminars and late-night TV infomercials all about Excremeditation and how it can be used to achieve better mental health, weight loss, and more civilized bacterial colonies in the colon have landed him on many shows such as Oprah, Dr. Phil, Dr. Oz, Dr. Drew, and many appearances on CNN being interviewed by Dr. Sanjay Gupta. He even persuaded Katie Couric to do a colonoscopy live on national television in order to promote the cause of Excremeditation, and all of this work popularizing Forbidden Science has been done to prepare people's colons for The Rupture.


Chemistry is the child of the Alchemists. It's the legacy of "the puffers," those charlatan imitators who tried to fake the production of real gold. Alchemy was called "the Hermetic Science" because it supposedly began with Hermes (or Thoth). Paracelsus saw it chiefly as a means of producing medicine. The classical goals of Alchemy, however, have been to transmute lower metals into gold, to prolong life via an elixir, to search for the Mysterium Magnum, to create a homunculus and to find a universal solvent. This was to be accomplished via the manufacture or discovery of the Lapis Philosophorum, The Sophic Hydrolith, "Our Mercury" or "Philosopher's Stone." Other names for the "Stone" (achieved through the hieros gamos "marriage" of opposites) are: Virgin's Milk, Cock's Egg, Dry Water and similar contradictions. Generally, a cryptic vocabulary is used to disguise psychological and materialistic parallels, e.g. "red lion", "nigredo", etc. There are supposedly seven stages of the alchemical Great Work, which are symbolical as well as chemical/metallurgical steps: Calcination, Putrefaction, Solution, Distillation, Conjunction, Sublimation and Philosophic Congelation. There are also minor, intermediary steps, such as Coloratio, Corrosio, Ceratio, Extractio, Separatio etc.

We should bear in mind, however, that true alchemists consider the Great Work to be not merely aureofaction or the transmogrification of matter, but rather, as Alice Bailey points out "to transfer consciousness to one of the higher vehicles..." In other words, the integrity of the inner transformation is more important than any flashy theatrical results.

According to some theories alchemy is the raising of vibrations. The vegetable kingdom resonates at the lowest level. In between vibrates the animal kingdom. It is for this reason that the extraction of plant essence is easy, while the extraction of mineral essence is extremely difficult. This is also why man, situated midway between the two kingdoms, can, by simultaneously distilling his own essence, assist the mineral.

From a psychological standpoint, any work, on the most general level, is the process of separating the important from the non-essential and the decision as to whether to continue further to distill that residue to any degree of perfection and finally the determination of when the whole is of a piece and completely finished. This process can apply to a work of art, to self-analysis, to the quest for the elixir of life or even, for that matter, to metallurgy - because (according to the Emerald Tablet) all things are one.

It is no accident or coincidence, for instance, that there is a correlation between the atomic numbers of modern physics and the ancient progression of metals in their metamorphosis into gold:

  • Lead 82
  • Thallium 81
  • Mercury 80
  • Gold 79
  • Platinum 78

The most important alchemical instruction is "Solve et Coagula", but an even more specific hint is "Flee contraction, seek dispersion." 

Here is a video in the Forbidden Science field of Insect Pornography:

Bug Porn

Bug Porn

This video about "Bob" Dobbs mentions his studies in Forbidden Science:

Ballad of 'Bob' Dobbs

Ballad of 'Bob' Dobbs

This page uses Creative Commons Licensed content from Wikipedia (view authors).
Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.