Forums: Index > Dobbstalk > Dear fellow Card-Carrying SubGenius Ministers

Dear Fellow Card-Carrying SubGenius Ministers:

What the hell do you think you're doing?

Let me make this straight. Pope Hilde & Miley Spears are not the trolls you're looking for. I'm your huckleberry pie fucker. I'm JoX the Bobtist; the Internet tough guy egosurfer who should get a life; the far from trustworthy trolling and very-dedicated sockpuppeter. I'm the basement dwelling nosebeard; the miscreant mouth-breathing nose-picker who blocked all three nostrils but still ate my own boogers; the unregistered sex offender who masturbates to My Little Pony. Especially Pinkie Pie.

I convinced Hilde and Miley and another semi-innocent or two to help me mine the sewers of the PreChurch of the SubGenius (pre 1953) and Early Church (1953-1975). Most of those "old documents" referenced in those new SubGenius Wiki articles are actually written or being "edited for historical accuracy." I hoped the New Church (1979+) SubGenii would have fun with those Robert Deanish "revelations" instead of getting prissily offended and threatening bogus lawsuits over them (by the way, it's called "libel" not "slander.")

Maybe I'm not a part of the NewChurch's SubGenius Inner Sanctum (the SISies), but have been a SubG so long my second copy of The Book of the SubGenius is falling apart. And yes, I have Rev. X, the Psych of Slack, Bob's Tales, The Cat Trilogy, The Ill. Tril., High Weirdies (which I loaned to a friend and haven't gotten back), a SubG membership card (somewhere), et. al., and paid real money for them, although my Arise! on VHS is probably an illegally pirated copy. So I claim to be one of the PreChurch Prophets of "Bob" and a Charter Member of the Early Church Inner Sanctum that have been dead for 40 years. So what?

Miley's a good kid who doesn't deserve your abuse. Hilde doesn't deserve it either, although you couldn't scare her with a 20-foot anaconda. I claim to have stopped being a Bobbie long before Stang first shit his nappies. Does that sound like a "Bob" damn Kook claim? You bet. So abuse me all you want. But give Miley and Hilde a chance.

As for the New Churchies, fuck 'em if they can't take a joke!

Hugs and Kisses,
JoX the Bobtist
PreChurch Prophet of "Bob"

P.S. Admins please add this to your Forum:Card_Carrying_SubGenius_Ministers. I'll take the heat.


I didn't add this message to the other because I felt it would be redundant, but did add a link in a section. I would be frightened by a 150-foot giant anaconda. Pope Hilde (talk) 20:33, September 28, 2015 (UTC)

Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.