Holy Boble

The Holy Boble is an illustrated SubGenius holy book containing the words of the Prophets of "Bob". It was compiled before the formation of the Church of SubGenius. While it was the primary holy book used by the Early Church, it's now rarely seen.

Composition[]

According to the hermaphromorphic JoX the Bobtist, the book was compiled from words of the Prophets of "Bob" or Prophetas Roberti (which include JoX) by JoX and "es" disciples. It was completed on October 29, 1929, which is the day JoX knew "Bob" was in the world.

"The Boble is copuliously illustrated in something of the style of a Tijuana Bible only much longer," according to JoX. The quality of the illustrations is variable.

Usage[]

The hermaphromorphic JoX and "es" disciples studied the book regularly in home Boble studies. When JoX first met "Bob" on the 13th hole of a golf course on Wednesday, July 23, 1941, "e" presented "Bob" with a copy of the book. Wanting to light his pipe, "Bob" allegedly set a corner of the book on fire. The book was then tossed to the ground, pages blown in the wind, and was then kicked into the water hazard on the 13th hole along with JoX. Both recovered, although somewhat the worse for wear.

J. R. "Bob" Dobbs unofficially began the Church of the SubGenius on Sunday, July 5, 1953. (The official beginning was 5/5/55, 5/7/55, and/or 7/5/55). The Boble was then the primary holy book used along with The SubGenius Hymnal in Church services and home Boble studies.

Books[]

The Holy Boble contains subsections loosely called "books". These books make up the four Bobspels, Bobstory (Axe of the Apostles), Episstols (actually letters, but figuratively water pistols full of piss), and Apocalypse (The Revulsion of JoX the Bobtist).

Selections[]

"Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you Slack." The Bobspel According to Mack the Knife, 11:28.

"In my Father's pleasure saucers are many sex goddesses: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to reserve a seat for you." The Bobspel According to JoX the Bobtist, 14:2

"And upon her forehead was a name written, MINNIE RAE, MYSTERY, BABYLON THE GREAT, THE MOTHER OF HARLOTS AND ABOMINATIONS OF THE EARTH. And I saw the woman drunken with the blood of the saints, and with the blood of the martyrs of Roberti: and when I saw her, I wondered with great admiration, and felt a great stirring in my loins." The Revulsion of JoX the Bobtist, 17:5-6

"Bob came and saw. He looked around. He saw the unknown God was in front of him . Bob lit his pipe and said, "What brings you here?" The god itself was stunned. He thought Bob is not like other intelligent idiots. He is a idiot intelligent!" The Bobspel -Bobs stories 44:100

Sources[]

The Holy Boble by Prophetas Roberti (revision of original 1929 version)
"An Interview with JoX the Bobtist" by Pope Hildegard (2014)
"FAQs of the Early Church of the SubGenius":by JoX the Bobtist