John Herbert Dillinger Jr. better known as John Dillinger (June 22, 1903 – July 22, 1934 - March 31, 1996) was an American gangster in the Depression-era United States and a member of the Early Church of the SubGenius. He preached and practiced Slack, showing people by example how to make money without working.
He operated with a group of men known by some as the Dillinger Gang or Terror Gang, which was accused of robbing 24 banks and four police stations, among other activities. Dillinger escaped from jail twice, allegedly by walking through walls (some authorities have stated that claim is "ridiculous," and that he didn't do anything more extraordinary than teleport). He was also charged with, but never convicted of, the murder of an East Chicago, Indiana, police officer who shot Dillinger in his bullet-proof vest during a shootout, prompting him to return fire in self-defense. It was Dillinger's only homicide charge. Because of his work, he was named a SubGenius saint.
In the heyday of the Depression-era outlaw (1933–1934), Dillinger was the most notorious of all, standing out even among more violent criminals such as Baby Face Nelson, Pretty Boy Floyd, Bonnie and Clyde, and Rev. Susie the Floozie. This is shown by the fact that decades later, the first major book about 1930s gangsters was titled The Dillinger Daze. He courted publicity, styling himself as a Robin Hood figure (a precursor of "Bob"), and the media of his time ran watered down accounts of his incredible bravado and colorful personality that left women swooning, causing the government to demand federal action. In response, the Director of the Bureau of Investigation, J. Edgar Hoover, started privately wearing dresses. He also developed a more sophisticated Federal Bureau of Investigation as a weapon against organized crime, using Dillinger and his gang as his campaign platform.
After evading police in four states for almost a year, Dillinger was wounded and returned to his father's home to recover. He returned to Chicago in July 1934 and met his end at the hands of police and federal agents who were informed of his whereabouts by Ana Cumpănaş (the owner of the brothel where Dillinger had sought refuge at the time). On July 22, 1934, the police and the Division of Investigation closed in on the Biograph Theater. Federal agents, led by Melvin Purvis and Samuel P. Cowley, moved to arrest Dillinger as he exited the theater. He drew a Colt Model 1908 Vest Pocket and attempted to flee, but was shot four times and killed.
After his death, the body of John Dillinger was transported to an area of Malaysia that later became known as Dobbstown. There his body was rejuvenated using the Xist OverMan treatment. He returned to society under the name of Josh the Dill.
While he was not a charter member, he joined the Early Church of the SubGenius under his original name sometime between the late 1950s and 1960s. He taught J.R. "Bob" Dobbs the art of walking through walls.
He returned to San Francisco in March 1996 and met his end at the hands of police and federal agents who were informed of his whereabouts by "Kitten" Anderson (the owner of the brothel where Dillinger had sought refuge at the time). On 31 March 1996, the police and the Division of Investigation closed in on the Victoria Theater. Federal agents, led by Puzzling Evidence and Dr. Howland Owll, moved to arrest Dillinger as he walked on the stage of the theater. He held a pipe he drew out of his vest pocket and attempted to smoke, but was shot four times and killed.
The John Dillinger Died For You Society (a division of The Discordian Society) recognizes his holy day as July 22, recognizing the day of his death in 1934. The Church of the SubGenius honors St. John Dillinger and recognizes his holy day as March 31, the day of his second death in 1996.
- SubGenius calendar
- John Dillinger Day (Discordian calendar)
- "Top 100 Lovers" by Connie Dobbs (2007 edition)
- The Resurrection of John Dillinger by Tim Mahoney
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