SubGenius Wikia Clench
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Kooks book cover

The book cover for the brilliant book "Kooks: A Guide to the Outer Limits of Human Belief" by Rev. Donna Kossy

Kooks are typically maladjusted Normals who spout conspiracy theories. Notable kooks include Francis E. Dec and Stanisław Szukalski, among billions of possible examples.

The book High Weirdness by Mail by Rev. Ivan Stang has quite a bit of information on kooks, but the most definitive book on kooks was written by another SubGenius reverend, Rev. Donna Kossy, back in 1994, and is titled Kooks: A Guide to the Outer Limits of Human Belief, and you can read glowing reviews of it on subgenius.com. Her website "Kooks Museum", deleted off the Interwebs by The C.O.N.S.P.I.R.A.C.Y., is still available via the Internet Archive's Undead Web Services right here, where you can see how it looked in 2008 (and since it went online back around 1994 plus or minus a year, that's over a decade's worth of kookery). In case you don't know who Donna Kossy is, she is the wife of NENSLO, and EVERYBODY knows who HE is (even "Bob").

Regardless, there have been plenty of developments regarding kooks since 1994 not covered in Donna Kossy's book, and the worldwide population of kooks has been growing exponentially, more than doubling every single year since then, with the biggest one-year rise occurring in 2009. Since this exponential growth LONG passed 100% of the human population, now most individuals have levels of kookery double, triple, or quadruple what was once thought possible, although there still exist a few ULTRA-normal humans who are not kooks, but they are more than canceled out by the billions of people with multiple kook personalities. Since SubGenii are not humans, they are not affected by this trend.

While some theorists claim that being a kook is inherently abnormal, those theorists are themselves all Normals and kooks themselves, and any proper SubGenius can tell you that no matter how abnormal some PinKooK SEEMS, they are still Normal because they are merely part of the expanding, widening definition of Normality... a widening definition of what is considered Normal that threatens to engulf us all in bland Normality unless we stop it before it is too late. Furthermore, the ways in which kooks apparently SEEM to rebel against the Conspiracy ALL PLAY DIRECTLY INTO THE CONSPIRACY'S HANDS, whereas the SubGenius who rebels against the Conspiracy does so with Slack... and BEATS THE CONSPIRACY AT THEIR OWN GAME.

Genetic studies have shown that there is a kook gene, and, while it was once quite rare, it is spreading like a virus, because it is spread BY a virus, changing people's DNA to turn them into kooks. These are not superior mutants, however. This virus was genetically engineered by the Conspiracy precisely to turn everyone into conspiracy theorists serving the Conspiracy. Rather than being superior mutants, kooks are simply a bunch of Frankenstein Slave Hangman Rope Parroting Puppets controlled by the Worldwide Mad Deadly Communist Gangster Computer God. The whole point of their existence is to come up with new conspiracy theories, new ideas about devious plots The Conspiracy could implement, and then once they think of those plots they then carry them out firsthand, without even realizing it, because they have been genetically altered so that their brains will refuse to acknowledge the fact that they work for The Conspiracy and will believe they are fighting against The Conspiracy instead, and any ideas or memories which would go against this are automatically MURDERED by the filesystem their brains run on, which is called ReiserFS... the filesystem for murderers.

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