List of SubGenius Clenches

This list includes a number of known or rumored SubGenius Clenches, but not all, taking as its core those who checked in the last time a roll call was made by subgenius.com.

Because all SubGenii spontaneously form a Clench of one whenever one is left to fester in its own Slack, completing such a list is beyond any earthly power - except of course the office of the Sacred Scribe. This list is therefore limited to ones known to have contributed or even SHOWED UP according to the journals of record, such as zines, yeti folklore and the stains they left as their messages burned through the internet's undersea cable infrastructure (DO NOT pay heed to the "shark attack" false flag operation).

• SubGenius Wikia Clench (Founder: The Overmind aka General Public. Founded: 8 March 2012.)[1]
• The Order of the Friars of Helena of Troika (Founders: Saint-Fond, Juliette, possibly Nyarlathotep. Founded: 1 July 1770)
• Early Church of the SubGenius (Founder: J.R. "Bob" Dobbs with Connie Dobbs and others. Founded: 26 July 1953 (first opportunity meeting 5 July 1953)) (inactive)
• Home for Slackless Children (Founders: Connie Marsh Dobbs and J.R. "Bob" Dobbs. Founded: 1956)
• Slackful Kids Club aka Shamlicht Kids Club (Founders: Sister Hooter and Captain "Sesame Seed" Rogers. Founded: 3 October 2007)[2]
• The High Weirdness Project (Founder: First Online Church of "Bob". Founded: 2005)[3]
• The Revengerists    
• National Cynical Network
  (Phineas Narco) Audio at: Phineas Narco & National Cynical Network
• Shining Path of Least Resistance, Khan of All-Shanghai
• CHURCH OF SATAN
• Ministry of Slack
• Terrorists for Truth (Hassan i Sabbah X, Chao Tse-tung, Alien Invasion, Thornbeak, Mad Marian, founders)
• Kallisti Kitten Klub (Founder: "Kitten" Anderson. Founded: 1984)
• The Kentucky Boys Clench (Founders: Asquire, Rev Dr Lon, Rev. Justin Case, & Rev. Country Bumpkin)
• Black Spears Gang (Founded: 2017)
• The Slack Gathering (Founded: 2019 at Woodstock on the Moon)
• Our Lady of the Wet Volcano
• 4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti, Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
• Hideous South Denver Lone Tree SubGenius Clench of Colorado
• SubGenius Recovery and Support Network - STOP "BOB"![4]
• Byron Brainard's MONOLITHIC BOBTALES
• The Ministry Of Truth
• Ho De Do Clench
  Dr. Pissoff's clench
• Internet Head Storage Facility
• Terror Australis
• Triology Soaps
• Lost Prophets of Dobbs
• Portland, OR Clench
• THE END TIMES NEWS WIRE
• THE BRAZILIAN CLENCH!
  IGREJA DE SUBGENIUS
• Rev. ZAPANAZ 1 & 2
• Rev. Frodis "Suds" Pshaw's clench
• The Exploding Judas Ministries
  "In very real and accessible terms, The Exploding Judas Ministries gives us the inspiration, the map, the potential to embody SubGenius abconsciousness here and now. This ministry is guaranteed to speed up your evolution, and take you on the broad path to Slack, money and free sex." - Reverend Prost, inventor of injectable ale.
• Rev. Erazuu's clench
• Rev. Clipper "Withnail" Ride
• The First Church of SubGenius's Eternal Pipe Dream / Clench of the One True Pipe Dream
  Pope Roger Wilco's New Orleans outreach.
• Sect of the Barcode Scanners
  (Rev. Mother Thaelo Blue)
•  The Resort & The Resort2
• Stupid "Bob" Tricks
• The Holocaustals
  Dr. Legume, and Papa Joe Mama form a mutant cyber clench that strongly believes that the Church should not be in the business of farming pinks.
• THE DAMN TRUTH
• Rev. Gurdurian
• R. Stevie Moore
• Rudy Rucker
• Dolemite
• Poindexter/Robert Carr
  The place where smurfs burn in hell!!
• The Articles of Truth
• The Mickey Snuff Page
• The Caverns of Blood
  Enter if you dare!!
• The Church of Tina Chopp
• The Beaver County Militia
• Disinformation
• S-P-O-N-G-E 
  Arkham's Grooviest Destroyers of Evil
• Clench of the Disgruntled Bunyip
• The HyperCube Clench
• The Church of Elvis and Marilyn
• The NYC Go Fuck Yourselves Clench
• Santa Cruz 25 Hour Clench
• Rev Doktor Strangeday's Clench of the divine Profit$
• Gripton Clench of NC
• Divine Southern Redneck Yeti Clench
• Quijibo Clench
• Clench of the Yoyo-Valence
• Drummondian First Clench
• Amateur Mad Seismologist Clench
• Clench of the Prostrate Prostate
• WELL FUCK YOU YOU HYPERSENSITIVE SPECIAL SECRET PASSWORD KNOWING WHINY TORI AMOS FAN GODDAM INBRED CLENCH
• Blackbrain Clench
  Let me see...there is me, my dead cat Raoul, and a large bucket of fried chicken.
  YOU GOTTA PROBLEM WITH THAT?!?!?
• Church of Homer Simpson, Bodhisattva, semi-proud
• First Church of Eternal Man
• Darkyoni Clench DisOrder F.A.H.T.
• Pegram, Tennessee and Eastern Cheatham County UNI-CLENCH
• The Not of The Cleveland Clench
• Kilgore Trout Memorial Clench
• Disturbed Feline Clench
• Church of Sub-Decency
• Space Pope's Society For the Fucking Gifted
• First Amalgamated Church
• The Retro-Ivangelicals