Neighborhood Watch
Neighborhood Watch - (aka Lawn Nazi, Homeowner' Assoc., Offices of Lenders and Realtors) are not a true Conspiracy but are not new either. They are notorious for being nosy assholes with nothing better to do other than complain their fuckin' heads off about smells, non-permanent structures, and eyesores that are notorious pylons of SLACK. They will threaten you into submission. They are the people who ask you a million questions when you move in anywhere like its their "Bob" damn business.
"Where do you live?"
"The one with the burned out car in the front."
"Where do you work?"
"None of your business.."
"How much money do you make do you have good credit?"
"Who are you and why do you ask so many [damn] questions"
You can keep them away easily. Here are some good steps to follow.
- Be normal. Its scares the subgenii to think about even pretending to be normal but hiding in plain sight is our gift.
- Be nice to their face, and how you want behind the curtains
- Find something wrong with their house
- Baby sit, dog sit, house sit
- act like you are concerned about the homeless
- don't be dogey just be directly obtuse ask more questions than you answer
- fund your habits behind closed doors and no one will be the wiser
- eat a bag of oranges from the neighborhood corner, they will help you fight the Conspiracy of Homeowners