Onan Canobite in third grade.
Reverend Dr. Onan Canobite is the CEO of the Church of the SubGenius. He gained the position after allegedly killing founding CEO Rev, Ivan Stang in a violent coup in 2023.
Biography[]
Onan was born as Doungie Willy Cox in Glen Roseola, Texas, in 1990. This was to Homer and Marge Cox, descendants of Mary "Minnie Rae" Simpson's son Bartholomew Simpson. His mother was an actress, and his father worked at the Philostangosophy Peak Nuclear Power Plant in Glen Roseola.
Onan first appeared onstage with Rev. Ivan Stang on the SubGenius World Tour in Portland OR, on March 14, 1998. This was at the Subgenius Underwater Church Kampus, sometimes called Krampus or S.U.C.K.. Onan was then in the third grade.
Rev. Stang gave him a birthday present, and Onan promised to give Stang a present for X-Day. The boy said it would be at his father's workplace.
Less than two months later, Onan told Ivan his X-present was ready. Stang planned to pick it up on May 7, 1998 at 5:23 p.m., after the plant had closed. But Stang got a last-minute dinner invitation from Connie Dobbs, great-granddaughter of Mary Simpson. Connie said she'd tell Doungie that Ivan would be late, but evidence suggests she never did.
On May 7, 1998 at 5:23 p.m., Philostangosophy Peak Nuclear Power Plant exploded, destroying the city. Because he was delayed, Ivan Stang's life was spared. Onan reportedly threw a temper tantrum all the way through July 5, 1998. For unknown reasons.