Could Miley Spears be a Bobbie Girl?
Could Pope Hildegard be a Bobbie Girl?
Pope Hildegard & Miley Spears (PHMS) is/are conjoined fraternal twins separated in time. They are both SubGenii and Discordians, but are primarily SubCordian (Hildegard side) and DisGenius (Miley side).
Personal life[]
True version[]
PHMS was born as conjoined fraternal twin girls in 1975 as Hildegardgard Frances Mileymiley R. Pope-Spears to Mr. and Mrs. Pope-Spears in Norwood Russia Township, Minnesota County, East Germany. As the newborns were only attached by their third nostril, their parents decided to have them physically separated. The operation was performed at Miskatonic Medical Center by Dr. Mandrake X. Loveshade, PhD, OBGYN, RN, ND, MD, OD, DC, ENT, LAC.
Unfortunately, the operation was a nose hair from being completed when the operating room was hit with frequency modulated temporal flux waves (FreModTemFluWax) from an experiment conducted by Drs. John Smith and Pal Rey at the nearby university. This caused a temporal rift, linking the moment when "Bob" and Connie Dobbs consummated their marriage with a simultaneous orgasm on their honeymoon in Las Vegas (coitis on 6 July 1955) with Timothy McVeigh (born 23 April 1968) detonating a truck bomb at the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City known as the Oklahoma City Bombing (in April 1995). As a result, the operation separated the twins in time and gave them both an explosive orgasm. Hildegard Frances Pope was born on 6 July 1955 and Miley R. Spears on 23 April 1995.
In both of her timelines, she was orphaned while pregnant at age 15, and sent to live in a Home for Slackless Children for girls only. This was called Our Lady of the Immaculate Conception School for Unwed Mothers. There she joined Slackful Kids Club under the leadership of Sister Hooter. She finally met herself again until she edited the Seti 23 Wiki in the early 21st century when her Hildegard side was 54 and her Miley side was 14. (Her Hildegard side met herself years after becoming pregnant for the first time, and her Miley side got pregnant after).
Her personal motto is "How can I help you understand if you want to be saved from fiery destruction or, if you're lucky, slavery when the Xists come and if you desire to ride on sex goddesses in the pleasure saucers you have to send in your membership fees to the Church of the SubGenius?"
Conspiracy version[]
Hildegard Frances Pope[]
Hildegard Frances Pope was born with a somewhat different name on 6 July 19--. She had a much older brother and a younger sister, and was raised by her parents extremely strictly in a Roman Catholic household. Her father was in the military and the family frequently traveled, not always in the same country.
The strict upbringing did not give protection from abuse. She grew up in a home that featured "violence with propriety". She first had sexual intercourse when she was very, very young. She did not enjoy it at all. The second time was bad, the third neutral, and the fourth exhilarating. While an unmarried teenager, she became pregnant.
She was sent to live in a home for girls run by a woman with a great sense of humor. The woman's non-Conspiracy name is Sister Hooter, and the girls jokingly called the school Our Lady of the Immaculate Conception School for Unwed Mothers. One of the two first chapters of Shamlicht Kids Club originated there. She regretfully gave her son, Carl, up for adoption. She later assisted at the home.
She and her sother nicknamed Father Fundament, a member of the U.S. Marines and a long-time Church of the SubGenius member, had a daughter named Erisa and later a son named Phillip.
Her personal motto of the moment is "It's just another day."
Miley R. Spears[]
Miley R. Spears was born with a slightly different name on 23 April 1995 at home in Minnesota. Her parents were unable to conceive children, so she was conceived through artificial insemination and is an only child. There was a strict agreement that she and her biological father/biodad not meet or even learn about each other until she turned 18.
Her parents home schooled her and overly protected her in a Baptist household, but it did not work. She first had sexual intercourse when she was 12 years old. She didn't mind it, but didn't know what it was.
Through arrangements by a family member, she met her older "cousin" (her biodad) at a get-together in Texas when she was 13, but they didn't know how they were related until she was 18. Until then, she called him uncle (and sometimes still does).
She got in trouble several times for challenging rules, laws, and the authorities, and her parents sent her to live with her aunt and (biological) uncle in Texas when she was 14. Her parents both died when she was 15. She became very depressed, but recovered.
She loves the university motto, "What starts here changes the world," and her personal motto is "How can I help?"
Career[]
True version[]
As Hildegard Frances Pope, she was a secretary for the Unified Catholic Church when, due to a filing mix-up, her name became listed as Pope Hildegard. She then became the church's 23rd, and first female, pope. She is a trinostritarian, and thus believes in the Holy Trinity of the Three Nostrils of "Bob".
As Miley R. Spears, she studied frequency modulated remote mind control technology (FreModRemMinConTec) at Miskatonic University. She planned to graduate in December 2015 and travel to Dobbstown to have her third nostril opened and become an UberFemme. But she didn't graduate until May 2016 and is still just an everyday Yetinsyny girl.
Conspiracy version[]
Pope Hildegard is a college graduate and a journalist and, as of 2022, editor for a small newspaper, covering just about everything that can happen in a small town. She edits wikis in her spare time, writing things she could never write for the newspaper. She has done some work as a model. She's a member of the Order of the Pineapple (2015).
Miley Spears took college classes, then when age 17 became a full time student at the University of Texas, Austin. She planned to graduate in December 2015 but didn't until the vernal equinox in May 2016. She has done some work as a model. She was accepted into the Peace Corps in 2020, but the COVID-19 delayed things. She was finally assigned to go to a very remote location in June 2022. She's a member of the Order of the Pineapple,
Links[]
- Pope Hildegard's user page
- Miley Spear's user page
- Miley Spears homepage
- File:SubGenius Wikia Clench scandals 202003.pdf (SubGenius Wikia Clench scandals as received by The SubGenius Foundation in March 2020)