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Ivan Stang at Starwood.


The Rant of Ivan Stang Nov 9 1985

These are quotes by and about Rev. Ivan Stang, a revivalist of the original Church of the SubGenius (1953, revived in 1979) and co-founder of the SubGenius Foundation (1980).

Quotes by Stang[]

  • Give me Slack, or give me Apache helicopters, Sidewinder Missiles and nuclear warheads. Hour of Slack radio broadcast
  • We all know how stupid the average person is. Now realize that, by definition, fifty percent of the population is dumber than that. [1]
  • If you sincerely desire a truly well-rounded education, you must study the extremists, the obscure and "nutty." You need the balance! Your poor brain is already being impregnated with middle-of-the-road crap, twenty-four hours a day, no matter what. Network TV, newspapers, radio, magazines at the supermarket... even if you never watch, read, listen, or leave your house, even if you are deaf and blind, the telepathic pressure alone of the uncountable normals surrounding you will insure that you are automatically well-grounded in consensus reality. High Weirdness by Mail
  • I wish that we could offer short-duration divorces, since we offer the marriages. Mavericks of the Mind: David Jay Brown & Sherry Hall Interview Reverend Ivan Stang
  • The Interesting thing Is my Dad now Is a part-time lay preacher. Even though he doesn't believe all of that stuff, he knows a lot more about the Bible than most preachers do. He loves to go Into the church, or the Sunday school, In the little town where they live now, and he'll bring up the most absurd, frightening sections of the Bible--- the parts they usually don't like to talk about. He's kind of planting seeds of, If not doubt, at least thoughtfulness....For Instance, he tells the Bible story about the children that teased the prophet Ezekiel over his bald pate, so God sent a She-bear to rend and tear the children. (laughter) Stuff like that; the really fun stuff. Mavericks of the Mind: David Jay Brown & Sherry Hall Interview Reverend Ivan Stang
  • If you sent in $30 you're a Reverend whether you want to be or not....If you are the kind of artist or musician who can't stop no matter how awful your output is, then you're a Doktor. If you manipulate and lie to everyone around you to enrich yourself with Slack, and generally make a loud spectacle of yourself in doing so, then you fit the Pope profile. If you do The Stuff That's Not Fun that all the other types avoid even thinking about, you're a Saint, you PORE BASTARD. Dobbs loves the Saints best because they give more money. Question: Am I a Reverend or a Doctor? asked by Flamegrape
  • Everything that makes people stupid is getting cheaper. Hour of Slack #1601 - Bow Before His Pea-ness, from 19X-Day, broadcast 19 December 2016 (46:41)
  • Actually, this X-Day was probably one of the smallest attendance numbers we've had, and yet it was perhaps the most Slackful. Hour of Slack #1630 - about 20X-Day (37:39)
  • I'm in the middle of the road, but on a flagpole 50 or 60 feet high, getting a clear view of everything. X-Day 23, Saturday, July 4, 2020.
  • Black Mail Matters, X-Day 23, Saturday, July 4, 2020.

Quotes about Stang[]

  • Ivan can be very funny. And his mustache and beard tickle me in some very funny places.
  • Rev. Ivan Stang claims he was the first Bobbie. Bullshit. As a Prophet of "Bob" before the Birth of Dobbs, I was a Bobbie for decades before Stang started shitting his nappies.
  • Rev. Ivan Stang announced today his retirement from the SubGenius Foundation, citing his ill demeanor and declining patience with internal conflict among the members of the SubGenius Church, appointing long-time collaborator Dr.K'taden Legume to the position of President and CEO of the Foundation.
  • When Rev. Ivan Stang dies, the Satan of the Bible will die for the world forever.
  • Rev. Ivan Stang does NOT worship Satan. I think Satan worships him.
    • E.W.C. Haskell, Jr. (Charter member of the Church of the SubGenius)