SubGenius Wikia Clench

See also "Bob" quotes

Slogans are bad, m'kay?

The Church of the SubGenius has many slogans, most of which are attributed to the Saint of Sales, J. R. "Bob" Dobbs. Here are some of 'em:

  • Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke!
  • Too much is always better than not enough!
  • Pull the wool over your own eyes!
  • You'll PAY to know what you REALLY think!
  • Give me Slack, OR KILL ME!
  • Bleeding Head Good, Healed Head Bad!
  • Act like a dumbshit and they'll treat you like an equal!
  • Science does not remove the terror of The Gods!
  • Eternal salvation or triple your money back!
  • The world ends tomorrow and you may die!
  • Don't just eat a hamburger, eat the HELL outta it!
  • The SubGenius must have Slack!
  • Repent! Quit your job! Slack off!
  • Praise "Bob"!
  • Kill "Bob"!
  • Fuck "Bob"! Praise Connie!
  • Ignore this fnord.
  • They may be Pink, but their money's still green!
  • I'm mad too, "Bob"!
  • I don't practice what I preach, because I'm not the kind of person I'm preaching to!
  • Relax in the safety of your own delusions!
  • Wanna know how dumb the average person is? Half of 'em are even dumber than THAT!
  • I always lie, and I'm always right!
  • This "Church of the SubGenius" is the best scam I ever pulled!
  • You must be saved, even if it kills you!
  • Why NOT a goat?
  • "Bob" smoked it, I bought it, that settles it!
  • You may now stop reading forever!

This video shows what happens when The Conspiracy tries to rip off SubGenius slogans... soon different members of the Con start accusing each other of secretly being SubGenii:


This video triumphs in the success of the slogan about quitting your job:


The Conspiracy has slogans too, unfortunately, and some of 'em are kinda similar sounding to SubGenius slogans. Beware anyone who spouts any of these Conspiracy slogans and passes them off as SubGenius slogans... they may be a Pink (unless, of course, it's Zeppo):

  • There's a sucker born every minute!
  • If you can't beat 'em, join 'em!
  • A fool and his money are soon parted.
  • God said it, I believe it, that settles it!
  • Why a goat?
  • I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore!
  • If it's on the Internet, it MUST be true!
  • Shit happens.
  • Put THAT in your pipe and smoke it!
  • Bob's your uncle!
  • Yessiree Bob!