Within the subgenius community there is a small but extremely vocal group of individuals oft times referred to as 'Sub-Boomers'. Similar in mindset to your regular, everyday boomer, these mutated SubGenii loathe anyone under the age of sixty, frequently refer to others as "GimmeBobs", and resist with tooth and claw any form of change to their daily schedule of insulin shots and the same "Bob" meme posted over and over and over again. They are the SubGenius equivalent of out-of-touch parents who don't understand why their kid won't throw on some Led Zeppelin instead of this "sickeningly sweet K-pop prattle."
They are incredibly selfish with their Slack, resulting in a significant lack of Slack. Instead, these ‘Sub-G’s’ prefer to maintain the church as though it were their own isolated personal clubhouse, with the hierarchies and other assorted ladder-climbing-ass-kissery which come from such delusions as societal standings.
Are You A Sub-Boomer?[]
If you're reading this entry and worried your years as a SubGenii maybe have turned you into a Sub-Boomer, simply ask yourself if you do any of the following:
- Angrily snarl that you've "been a member of the SubGenius Church since 19xx!!!" during any SubGenius member-related conflict.
- Histrionically accuse other SubGenius forum members of attempting to create a "schism within the church", even though said "schisms" are literally all being posted within the aforementioned forum(s), effectively schisming nothing.
- There's no need to walk to the bathroom because your elderly penis has been catheterized; the urine fed directly into eagerly awaiting mouths of Gen X SubGenius status seekers.
- Get confused easily and begin babbling senile word salad about "pinks".
- Constantly rehash decades old content without introducing any original ideas in the name of "keeping true to the source material."
- Blood pressures rises to a dangerous level if any potential "NewToBob" doesn't immediately supply their Church Of The SubGenius Membership Card on demand.
- Believes their Slack to be superior due to the smorgasbord of old people meds they’re on.
- Has a decent retirement package, is a homeowner, and possesses enough expendable income to literally burn money, thus making them feel as though they still belong to a fringe culture.
If you can agree with one or more of the above statements, it is imperative that you take a step back, breathe deeply, and stop taking your parody religion so seriously.
Things Sub-Boomers Say[]
(This Section to be continually updated.)
“When I got my membership it was only $20.00!”
"Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke!", every time they're unable to take a joke.
"I reckon a significant portion of "these" people have never even laid thine eyes upon the holy book of the porcelain throne...so the quicker they send $, the better. They're not even bobbies, they're gimmebobs...and thats not even accounting for the pinks and con-servants."
"Riiiight. Because somehow your asinine cult of personality demonstration of fascist conformity in unison is somehow a serious critique about NOT being a conformist authoritarian douchebag worshipping orange cocksucker. "Ohhh, this NPC meme all my fellow douchebags are posting en masse will prove I'm a free thinker, because something something! YAY!"