DO NOT confuse the Yacatisma with the Yacatizma.
The Yacatisma (a.k.a. the Y-ists) Energy or Robot Techno-Mutilators from Orion; Called "Seraphim" in the Bible, These are identical with the "Serpent People," who tempted and fucked all the female yeti's in "Eden," ruining the Test Batch and in so doing, possibly creating humans. The Yacatisma were winning against the X-ists when X-Day was supposed to take place on July 5, 1998, due to the scheming of NHGH and The Conspiracy. However, it appears that our calendars are all wrong, and were changed by The Conspiracy, and the ACTUAL July 5, 1998, the ACTUAL X-Day, is STILL in the future. This means that there is still hope of defeating the sinister Yacatisma so the X-ists can rescue the SubGenii from being trapped here on Earth alongside the Pinks. Possibly by joining the X-ists in a vast intergalactic war involving both The Gods and World Cup Golfers. While the X-ists are allied with JHVH-1, the Church of the SubGenius
The key to winning this war is to locate the sacred artifact known as The Bleeding Head of Arnold Palmer, which can turn the tide in this war against the Y-ists, achieve final victory for the X-ists, and bring about the events of X-Day such as The Rupture as foretold in The PreScriptures and World Cup Golfer Arnold Palmer, the Y-ists are allied with NHGH, The Conspiracy, and World Cup Golfer Lee Trevino. Countless other Gods, cults, World Cup Golfers, and alien civilizations are involved in this vast intergalactic war.
MAYBE... OR MAYBE that's just some BULLDADA!!!!!![edit | edit source]
If the X-ist find Errff ("Earth" if you're a dirty human) crawling with pinks they will spray the planet with human extermination bombs shaking all the blind human fleas loose from their mortal coil. The X-day.
BUT If the Anti-Xists the Yacatisma, reach the Earth First, they will turn it to cinders and ashes... but not before they rape it, LITTERALLY AND PHYSICALLY RAPE IT!! No matter WHO is in charge.
The Y.C.T.S.M. are almost on the godlike level of the the Xists but are completely material. They are evolved machines and are not only efficient but deliberately cruel killing machines DELIGHTING in overpowering worlds and destroying civilizations with overwhelming fear and despair. That's their equivalence of sex. They're meaner and colder than any cybernetic intelligence could be. Which implies a soul, albeit a black one. Think if the Borg and the robots of matrix had a planet destroyer "Galactus" complex.
If only you had experienced the sheer brain-shredding TERROR.. I could say it's like if the Terminators took over the Death Star and put Hannibal Lector in charge that wouldn't even come CLOSE.
Being Super material they are the opposite of the Elder Gods, but none the less they make dark pacts with the immaterial ones, and function as their mercenaries. In reality their size is miles tall. Their foot could crush a whole city. One Yacatisma can shed a whole planet of human destroying robots which to them are "fleas," but to us are robotic chainsaw wielding nightmares. Enough of them and you can take down a small star. A Yacatisma's main fuel source is a victims, to fuel their faster than light drive. For them stopping for gas is exploding a star, and harvesting the souls of victims on near by exploded biospheres.Then moving on to the next star. There must be that much pain and destruction for them to survive/thrive. They trash the Universe just for fun because they know that the battle is not the war. The tree is not the Forrest. The victims are inconsequential and they believe this to a stark fault. They absorb the matter of destroyed stars/planets/unconscious beings and evaporate them into a energy mist and turn them back into a replicator comprised of tiny robots who's goal is to rebuild the universe into their own creative designs. They are the custodian robots of the Universe. Destroying and rebuilding. If you had fallen into their spheres you'd be torn apart like a black hole and rebuilt from astro dust.
Apparently the idea of "souls" irritates the Y.C.T.S.M.. They don't like intangibles, un-quantifiable, indescribables... etc. But relish in human "hate." That's something they can understand. Unfortunately, where as the X-ists prefer to take their souls refined, and delivered by "Bob," in little cylinders the Y.C.T.S.M. are berserkers that run rampant across the planet literally knobbling and sucking the fear and loathing out of the planet. Increasing their victims fear and enfolding a dark reality over the whole planet. This makes the souls extra delicious.
The Yacatisma have the ability not only to travel between galaxies but also between dimensions. Its not that they are so ridiculously big, its that we are extremely tiny to them. They skateboard across the omni-infinite quasi-alternate hypertime infinitude forming alternating quantum quasi-time configurations and alternate universes, giving them infinite fertile dimensions to sack and loot.
Yacatisma are very active in our home dimension, most widely known for destroying the original Earth and turning it into an inexact copy that they could siphon souls from. They want to diffuse the cosmic dream disc we are currently swirling around, radiating out from the white hole being spiraled out to form our star cluster / galaxy. They want to smooth out the Universe. Then make it uniformly "lumpy." A pleasing "stucco" over the universe. Just for you. And they expect a thank you...
They continuously replay the "Big-Bang" for the fuck of it. They redistribute and reform all matter physically the way they see fit for everyone to see later. It gives them way too much pleasure or enjoyment to just fuck with what they've already destroyed and rebuilt. Basically destroying it again right after they built it. They would reform the totality of creation just to make it into robots of a oozy dark pain dimension of no slack. If it made them "thirsty," enough. Hardly an emotive group. They lack the creativity of struggle and relish in the conformity of simplicity. You can find their minions everywhere. Dressed in all black, adorned with skulls, tattoos, and riding motorcycles.
They have one chance to intervene and destroy the Earth before the X-ists. This is "The Time of Intersection," when members of the Conspiracy will shill out for the Yacatisma for a free HOLO-GAZM dream universe. Where they exist as soulless nano-machine human duplications. But that's how foolish the Pinks and the Conspiracy are. Brainwashed by pro-Alien TV shows. That they think there is an escape. Or that it hasn't already happened. Or maybe its happening right outside your field of vision in the corners of your perceptions sitting right outside of our waking phanerons... They've been in the room longer. Who knows how long. So who knows more about the room, us or them? Just close the door. Find yourself lost in another dimension. Think of "Bob" until you relieve yourself from suffering and join a new higher state of being.